40 Days and 40 Nights

I decided to take the plunge and give up something for Lent. No, I'm not Catholic, but the concept of giving something up for a period of time seems reasonable, and relatively healthy. These past 7 months have been all about excess in almost every way possible; from sex, shopping, and drinking, etc., so I figured if I am going to give up something, now is the time to do it. But, what to choose?

I don't think that I can pull a Josh Hartnett in 40 Days and 40 Nights and not have sex. It's already been a week without sex and I am in struggle city. While I think flicking the bean on a pretty routine basis is practically maintenance, doing that for an extended period of time without the option of sex just sounds absolutely miserable. I can only close my eyes and come up with so many scenarios.. if you catch my drift. I'm pretty sure after 40 plus days I would not be someone pleasant to be around. And then, what would happen after those six weeks? I would be an animal; like one of those little dogs that literally humps everything that moves. Not a good look babes, not a good look.

Then I consider my Starbucks addiction. I think I have consumed so many chai lattes that it is practically a part of me. My blood type is probably AB- plus a three pump, non-fat, extra hot, venti chai. I should probably mention that when I sign up as an organ donor...I digress. If I do the math and I give up my crack, I mean chai latte, habit, I could save $142.80 at the end of all of this!! BOOM, that's a bar tab. Psh, let's be real, I don't pay bar tabs. But you get what I mean. I'm just trying to think about the person I would be without my daily pick me up. I still want to be a reasonable person to be around. And not having Starbucks for 40 days would be like PMSing for six weeks straight. No one wants to be around that bitch.

I've also been considering unplugging for a while. You know, texting less and taking a break from social media. The past few days I have been without a cell phone, which has been massively liberating. I never thought I would be thankful for Verizon's awful customer service, but having to communicate via email and personal interaction has been relatively refreshing, and believe it or not, it has been doing wonders for my dating life. I swear, being technologically unavailable makes you 10x more desirable to men. If guys are genuinely interested, they won't mind a challenge. It's definitely brought a few knights in shining armor out of the woodwork.

Lastly, I could embrace the fact that I want my body to look like that of a Victoria's Secret model and give up sweets, or carbs, or alcohol. Scratch that, giving up alcohol is a horrible idea; a girl needs her gin and tonics. But seriously, what girl doesn't use Lent as an excuse to "cleanse"? Imagine, you're at a restaurant, and you're friends are trying to get you to eat the bread out of the bread basket, or the dessert that has a bagazillion calories, or god forbid, fat girl sushi... Oh sorry, I'm giving up any food makes my ass bigger for lent. They can't argue with that! Hello, this isn't just a superficial and shallow decision not to eat, it's religious, so don't cross me.

It looks like I have found my winner. Any foods that can be labeled as mASSive are officially off limits for 40 days... in moderation. What? A babe has gotta have her Ducali fix every once and a while.

'Til next time,

A Babe In Boston