Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Body of Work

Lacing up your sneaks and throwing on your Lululemon yoga pants at the end of the work day is a must. I know that if I want to keep going out with guys who are up to my standards, I have to stay up to theirs, so I work out. And on top of keeping my ass in tip top shape, going to the gym is an awesome place to check out guys in their purest form: sweaty and dripping testosterone everywhere. Just how I like them. But, you can't go to just any gym. Equinox or SportsClub LA is the way to go. Think about it this way: If you are hot and young, going to the gym is as much a mating ritual as it is a workout, and who wants to be philandering with a sweaty gym rat at Gold's Gym in Southie? Not I. 

gym rules
Thanks Southie, but no thanks.
While I encourage you to go to the gym, I'm not saying to go crazy here. 4 days a week is plenty. No one wants to be friends with someone who's more concerned with their 6am yoga sesh on Sunday morning than spraying bottles of champagne all over the less fortunate people who aren't dancing on couches at the club on Saturday night. Because hauling your ass to the gym on the weekends is nearly impossible considering your extra curricular activities, it's imperative you find time during the week. The end of the work day is when most of the eligible bachelors are hitting the weights, so between 6-8pm is your best bet if you're on the hunt. Are you more concerned about getting that one cardio machine you always use? Would you rather just hit the gym without the distractions? Then go early in the morning, or late night. But let's face it, at that point you're going to the gym for all the wrong reasons! Just kidding. Sort of. 

If you're a seasoned veteran in the gymming world, like myself, picking up bros is easy. Squatting a little more than you usually do? Get a spot from the hot guy at the station next to you. Notice a cutie walking to the water fountain? Beat him to it and bend over right in front of him. What? You were really thirsty... (and your ass looks amazeballs in your new Lulu's.) And if all else fails, ask to work on the same station as him. This is especially effective when it is a busy day at the gym, and most of the machines are being used. He won't think anything of it, that is, until he can't resist your hotness any longer and has to ask you out on a date. It happens more than you would think. 

Regardless of what your guy friends might tell you, you better look damn good at the gym. I'm not saying to pull a Mimi Bobeck and plaster a face full of makeup on before you traipse your tuckus to Soul Cycle, but girl, if you have bags under your eyes, throw on some under eye concealer and a little mascara. Is your hair a hot mess? Don't plop it into a rat's nest on the top of your head. Thinking about wearing your ex-boyfriend's oversized t-shirt and shorts to the gym? Reconsider! You are going out in public after all. I'm not trying to say guys are superficial ass holes... but they are. 

So set down that "fat girl sushi" you're still picking at from lunch, and get your ass in gear. The gym is calling.

'Til next time,

A Babe In Boston

3 comments:

  1. what exactly is fat girl sushi!?

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  2. Anything with tempura, mayo, or things that really shouldn't be in sushi to being with (i.e. cream cheese, bacon, etc.)

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  3. fat girl sushi... http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2012/12/shocking-food-autopsies-your-favorite-healthy-foods-exposed eff you rice, sad but a good wake up call.

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